Socializing the timid pup

Working with a fearful dog can be a very challenging task for even the most experienced dog trainers! The first thing I tell all my students and clients is to listen to the fact the dog is telling you it is afraid. If you ignore what they are telling you and don’t relieve the fear you are likely going to put them into the situation where they feel they have no choice but to growl, lunge, bark, snap, bite or attack to drive away what they are afraid of. For most all dogs these are last resort responses when all their softer communication to please leave them alone has been ignored. 

So what to do? First of all keep noting all the things they are displaying fear towards. If they are things you have some control over, like sometimes they will spook at objects (fire hydrants, weird looking objects) ignore their fearful display and you go interact with the object confidently. Sit on it, talk to it, show your dog that you are not worried about it all, and could careless about it. If your pup attempts to investigate, softly praise them and offer a reward for their efforts, if they don’t want to investigate, that’s ok!!! Walk away, with repeated visits to that weird object with each encounter your dog will get more confident and the day will come when they are no longer worried about it. 

It is of course far more difficult to address fear over things you have no control over because you have to balance protecting your dog from a bad experience with getting them enough exposure to allow for desensitizing. The first thing to keep in mind socializing does NOT have to include contact to be helpful. Just seeing and being around dogs or people, or other situations that are frightening, and having good experiences that end with your dog feeling more relaxed are extremely beneficial events. So when I have a fearful puppy or dog I am working with I try to get them out in the world around lots of people and/or dogs at a safe distance. If I have a puppy afraid of kids I go play with my puppy near a school far enough away they can see and hear the children but far enough away I know children won’t come running up to us. If they are afraid of adults, I go to shopping malls, or other busy areas and walk them at a nice safe distance away gradually working my way in closer. 

It’s ok to say NO! You are socializing your puppy/dog, you are not the canine ambassador for the world in that moment, so if you see your dog is concerned and someone asks if they can pet your pup it’s ok to say no. You might instead offer to show them a trick, a great reason to teach a shy dog lots of tricks! Or simply explain your pup is in training right now, perhaps another time and confidently walk away. But be friendly in declining, don’t be abrupt or harsh as your pup could pick up on your discomfort and be more concerned. 

The very best thing you can do to help your pup gain more confidence is be a friendly person! When someone comes up to see your puppy and you know that person, go over to them, give them a hug, or a soft touch on the shoulder, smile, talk in a friendly happy voice, try to get the person interacting and talking to YOU and take the focus off the dog. Many dogs will use this opportunity to sneak sniffs and investigate the person. Many pups will see your acceptance and friendliness to the person as a indication that they are a safe person. Instruct the person to ignore your dog if they shy away and to not go reaching after them. If it’s a stranger to you and you are not comfortable going over and interacting with them in this way, why on earth would you expect your pup to be comfortable with the person manhandling them:) So if you want your puppy to be friendlier, then when you met strangers, be engaged, smile, talk to them, stand closer to them and again try to get them conversing with you and not staring at your puppy. 

Do not hold a frightened puppy and force them to accept being pet by a person they are afraid of! This is a very good way to teach a puppy to snap at people. When holding a puppy you can usually feel by the way their body feels if they want the greeting or are worried, pay attention to if their body is leaning into you or away from you. Does their body feel soft and wiggly or tense? A puppy in your arms that wants to see someone is usually so wiggly you can barely hold onto them as they try to climb into that person, a worried pup usually pulls closer to you and allows the petting, but doesn't actively engage, though they may sometimes offer nervous little submissive licks. Basically if they are not actively trying to crawl from your arms towards seeing someone, don't allow the person to reach for them, if you are unsure simply set them down and they will show you by either moving towards them or away.

If I have a shy dog NO ONE or NO DOG has contact with my puppy until I have had contact with who I am expecting them to accept. And I protect them, if I see them concerned and it’s another dog, I get the other dog to move away and allow my dog space to feel comfortable again. If it’s a person I do the same. I look for subtle signs of stress and respond as soon as I can: lick lipping, collar/ear scratching, avoiding eye contact, pulling the sides of their face back, tensing, changes in breathing patterns, overly submissive body postures. If I see these I step in and change the situation by: moving my puppy away, moving the person or dog away from my dog, changing the focus onto something else, like play. I use toys a lot if I have a shy pup that likes toys. I take out a ball and play fetch so the pup can run and feel at a safe distance, and yet still interact. I hand the scary person the ball, they throw it, the pup will often bring the ball back to me instead, I hand it to the scary person again and just keep repeating that and often the pup will start bringing it to them. Even if they don’t give the person the ball they are taking in the fact this scary person is maybe ok since they know how to play. 

If I have the scary person offer my puppy treats I only allow that in ways that build confidence, I do not use the treat as a bribe to lure the puppy closer. I may have the person ask my dog for a known behavior, like sit (my puppy has to know what the command means or it’s not reasonable) and allow them to give the treat if the pup will sit. If the dog won’t sit and their body postures show unease the odds are they are too afraid to sit, so I am going to step in, ask the pup to sit myself, if they do the person can toss them the treat. The sit is the gauge to tell you how freaked out your pup is, if they can’t sit for you, then they are too afraid and you should just move them further away from the person or what they are afraid of. I will only allow others to give my fearful dog a treat by throwing it to them. I do this because most people will automatically start reaching for a dog after they give the treat, if the pup doesn’t want to be touched they will leave that experience perhaps feeling freaked out and worried about people offering them treats. I’ve counseled many owners of dogs who will approach a person with a treat, and snap at the person as soon as they get the treat. So have the person toss the pup the treat, if the dog wants to be pet I promise they will make it clear, they will walk over and ask for it. That is what you are trying to create, a pup that feels safe enough to solicit affection.

Move slowly in progressing with a fearful dog! Protect them from the scary world, and slowly show them it is not as scary as they thought. Show them you’ve got their back and they can trust you. Show them you love people & other dogs. And remember the most important rule, no one pets your dog until the dog CLEARLY asks for it, if they are not soliciting affection do not allow strangers to try to touch them!

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